We all know that clothes dry faster if you wring out the extra water first. That’s the point of the spin cycle on your washing machine. Well, that, and making cats really, really dizzy. We can’t do a spin cycle doing laundry by hand without making ourselves as dizzy as the neighborhood cats after their ride on the Gravitron at the Feline Fair so we needed another option. [Random insertion by Bella: Eskimos can’t paint because they don’t have hands.] With a spin cycle out of the question, I figured a squisher bucket and a squishy bucket would substitute well.
The kitty Gravitron works pretty well, so we’ll use that as our standard. From my Chicken Washer attempts, I learned that spin cycles run around 600-650 RPM. Skipping the boring math (sorry, Mr. Zach), and making a couple of assumptions, our laundry withstands around 120 g’s. That’s 120 times its own weight. For comparison, roller coasters can only pull 7 or 8 g’s. Fighter pilots can withstand around 9 g’s with special suits, angled seats, and a lot of training. In other words, as fun as it might sound, don’t climb in your washing machine.
The squishy bucket works pretty simply. Pile the wet clothes in the bottom of the bucket with all the holes, and put the squishy bucket (just a regular bucket with a lid) in the squishy bucket and sit on it. Make sure the squisher bucket is a little narrower than the squishy bucket or it will get wedged in. That’s not fun.
I weigh 160 pounds fully clothed and soaking wet. My squisher bucket has a bottom surface area of about 82 square inches. That makes a force of only about 2 pounds per square inch. I managed to squeeze about a pound of water out of a sopping wet towel. I wrung out another pound by hand. In short, it didn’t work. I should have done the math, first.
The idea got pretty good reviews online, so I think I’m just too skinny for it to work. If you have a higher weight/forearm strength ratio than I do, you might have better results. For me, wringing by hand works better.
I’ll figure out some mechanical advantage and make this work. Wringing clothes by hand isn’t fun. Unless you’re into arm wrestling, in which case it’s a great workout.